Communicating with your school

Providing an affirming environment

• ‘My name is now <name> and my pronouns are <pronouns>. It would mean a lot to me for you to use them instead of my previous ones. Thank you so much.’
• ‘My name and personal pronouns are important to me. When they’re not used, I feel invalidated. Can you please try to use the correct ones in the future?’
• ‘Instead of dividing students up into “girls” and “boys” groups, could we try another way? We could be divided by the month we’re born, the first letter of our name; or just randomly.’

Providing a safe environment

• ‘I’m being treated badly about my [gender / wearing this uniform / using that bathroom / <other>] by some of the other students. It’s making me feel [uncomfortable / unsafe]. What can we do to stop this happening?’
• ‘Is it possible for the school to arrange some education for students and their parents about gender diversity, gender diverse people’s rights, and the school’s responsibilities to keep gender diverse students safe here?’

Regarding sport and physical education

• ‘Sport is important to me, but I’m feeling uncomfortable about participating if I have to keep playing on the [girls / boys] team. I would prefer to play on the [girls / boys] team with the other [girls / boys].’
• ‘Getting changed into my sports uniform in the same room as other students is making me feel anxious. May I please have permission to [wear my sports uniform all day / leave class ten minutes earlier than the other kids to get changed / use a staff bathroom to change / <other>]?’

Regarding bathroom access

• ‘I don’t feel comfortable using the [girls / boys / disabled / staff] facilities. I would like to use the [girls / boys / disabled / staff] facilities from now on please.’
• ‘I am actually protected by the federal Sex Discrimination Act to have access to this bathroom.’

Regarding school camps

• ‘School camp is coming up and I’m feeling anxious about it. Is there a way we can organise the activities and accommodation so I feel more comfortable coming?’
• ‘I’ve seen that we’re going to be kayaking, and wearing wetsuits. Can we please arrange for there to be a wetsuit for me that’s one size bigger?’
• ‘I’m feeling uncomfortable about wearing an abseiling harness. Could we please arrange for me to be involved in a different way, like helping with safety checks, taking photos, or cheering everyone on?’
• ‘I would feel safest and most comfortable sleeping in the [girls / boys] bunkhouse.’
• ‘<Friend’s name(s)> have said they’d be happy to bunk with me. [Her / His / Their] parents – who [know / do not know] that I am gender diverse have said this is OK. Can this please be organised?’

Communicating with friends’ parents and carers

• ‘I actually identify as <gender identity>. <Their child> already knows. They’re such an understanding and accepting person. Their friendship is so important to me.’
• ‘I know my parent has told you that I’m gender diverse. Can you please not discuss it with <their child>? I’d rather not risk having any other kids at school find out.’
• ‘Can you please show me where I can [use the toilet / get changed / have a shower] where I can have complete privacy?’